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Where should Chris go on his tour? Email him your ideas
I’ve got surfboards, sunscreen and swimming trunks. I’ve packed the windbreaks, the waterproofs and the wine cooler.
I’ve loaded the Beach Boys on the i-pod, the beach toys in the boot and the Good Beach Guide in the glove box.
Outside, on a leafy London street, my gleaming Volkswagen California camper van is all ready to set off on the greatest assignment since Stanley set off to find Livingstone: a six-week, grand tour of the Great British coastline.
Progress has been cruel to our coast. It was the package holiday that killed the romance, offering the cheap allure of sultry foreign shores.
But we stayed in touch, popping down for Kiss Me Quick Bank Holiday weekends until the likes of easyJet, Ryanair and wizz.com walloped that market.
Then foot and mouth and wave after wave of spiteful Atlantic weather marched in to mop up whatever was left. Piers collapsed. Seafront hotels closed down. Seaside attractions were boarded up. But it couldn’t last long.
Psychologically all nations have destinations of desire – the places our subconscious takes us to when we close our eyes. For the Irish, it’s America.
For the Americans, it’s California. For the Germans, it’s Poland and Western Europe, and for the British it’s the seaside.
The sound of seagulls, the smell of ozone and vinegar and the taste of a 99 run through the British soul like the letters in a stick of Brighton rock. You can keep your fancy Madeleines: if you’re a la recherche de temps perdu you need to hit the beach.
And the timing couldn’t be better: take one credit crunch, a fistful of fuel surcharges, a strong euro and a pinch of concern for the environment and you’ve got a recipe for the renaissance of the home-grown holiday. We’ve seen Florida, done Thailand, bought the Tuscan t-shirt and now, with one eye on the weather, we’re coming home.
The tide has finally turned for the British seaside, but can our coast really compete with the charm of Sharm, the glamour of the Greek Isles and the magnetism of Mallorca?
Let’s see. Starting at the end of June I’m setting off on a circumnavigation of the British coast looking for the seaside gems that sparkle brightest. Which are our top seaside towns and where are Britain’s best beaches?
I’ll be seeking the supreme ice cream, the tackiest souvenirs and best battered fish. I’ll be looking for the best spots for that early morning swim, that long afternoon of languid loafing on the littoral and that last, fabulous, sunset surf, but I can’t do it alone.
In short, I need your help. You’ve got your favourite spots – I know you do – and if you tell me where to go, within the boundaries of common decency, I’ll check them out.
The quest starts on the East Anglian coast on June 27, as I cover the ground between Southend-On-Sea and Hunstanton.
Week two will take me from Skegness to John O Groats and week three covers the west coast from Ullapool, via Blackpool, to Southport. In week four I’ll be exploring the Welsh seaside and in week five I’ll follow the south west coast from Weston Super Mare to Torquay.
In the final week I’ll cover the south coast from Bournemouth to Whitstable, so if there’s anywhere you’d care to share (a secret cove, a spectacular view, sublime chip supper or surprisingly good ice cream), email me at campervanman@sunday-times.co.uk - or you can leave your suggestions on the comment form below.
I might even call you so we can meet up to check your recommendation out together, and I promise I’ll only pass on your secret to a select group of seaside aficionados.
No matter what happens this summer, three things are guaranteed. One, it will be a scorcher. I know this because it says so in Old Moore’s Almanack and I’ll eat my Kiss Me Quick hat if it’s not.
Two, you’re going to show me the best the British seaside has to offer and three, it’s going to hurt to give Volkswagen their camper van back.
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