Susan d’Arcy
Grab an Italian masterpiece for less

Would you like to be very, very thrilled with yourself about your choice of holiday this year? Turns out it’s easy. First, you get all eco-superior over the fact that you care about the planet’s future, and so would rather blow cigarette smoke in a baby’s face than take one of those evil flight things to that abroad place.
Then you have a look at what’s available in the UK – and that’s when the real hop-and-skip warm glow of smugness envelops you. Because, while we’ve all been desperate to leave these shores for a “proper” holiday, Britain has changed.
There are now fabulous self-catering options, from cute cabins with private beaches to stately piles with rooftop hot tubs, that are stylish and affordable, and come without the lose-the-will-to-live queues and irritatingly whimsical security restrictions of our delightful airports... Perfect.
THE ATTENBOROUGH OPTION
We bow to the gutsiness of BBC wildlife camera crews who suffer untold privations to bring us rare footage of pygmy hippos and flying lizards, but we’re talking holiday rather than hardship, so this trio of inglenooked cottages in wild and woolly Northumberland, and a cup of cocoa, will do nicely for us, thank you. Infrared cameras in badger, barn-owl and fox habitats are dotted throughout the conservation farm’s 60 acres, and link direct to your widescreen television for a gripping alternative to the pond life in EastEnders.
Wow factor: live nature cams.
Details: 01830 520530, www.whiteleeholiday
cottages.com; cottages sleep 4-5; from £55pp for a week.
A COTTAGE ON THE GREEN
Some dispute its status as a sport, because players don’t run, jump or shoot, they just have to wear clothes in clashing Day-Glo colours. If golf is your game, however, bag one of the three traditionally cute Idehill cottages – not because they’re tucked into 50 prime acres of east Devon, within a seagull’s swoop of great seaside resorts such as Beer and Branscombe, but because they have their own 18-hole course. It’s not Wentworth, but, erm, you’re not Tiger.
Wow factor: exclusive use of a golf course.
Details: 01548 853089, www.toadhallcottages.co.uk; cottages sleep 4-6; from £99pp for a week.
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