Graphic: Our pundits' picks

“Andriy Shevchenko – or Dean Windass?” Probably not a question that has ever been asked by a football manager. But it was posed in The Times Sports Editor’s office on Tuesday and it brought the house down.

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Ten Times employees were in the final round of the player allocation for an in-house PlayTheGame league, taking advantage of a new feature that allows leagues to hold their allocations in real time and input the results rather than leave our computer to give them the players they want.

Richard Duce, the Sports News Editor, was pondering a choice of forwards for his sixth place on the bench and it came down to a former European player of the year or a Hull City forward who has probably never even been player of the year in his own house. Only in fantasy football . . .

To many people who play American fantasy sports, the sight of ten or more grown men gathered around a table covered in stat sheets, beer bottles and pizza boxes and calling out the names of professional sportsmen is a familiar one, and those of us who have experienced these occasions did not want to deny it to you any longer.

Ask members of longstanding fantasy baseball or NFL leagues to name the best day of the year and they will not select the day of the Super Bowl, the All-Star Game or even their wedding anniversary. To a man they will nominate the day when they gather in office conference rooms or corners of favourite local hostelries to select their teams for the forthcoming season.

Whether they use an auction or draft format, these occasions are always the same – plenty of trash talking, frequent howls of anguish as a top target is taken and usually a lengthy debrief over a cool beverage. Now all this can be yours in PlayTheGame if your chairman selects the Offline Allocation option.

We followed a traditional “snake” system. Lots were drawn for allocation order, with the sequence reversed for even-numbered rounds. So in a six-team league, players take turns to pick players in the order 1-2-3-4-5-6 in the first round, and 6-5-4-3-2-1 in the second. Then back to number one again to start the third round and so on. This is what our computer does when it allocates players automatically. The order “snakes” backwards and forwards and gives managers at the end of the allocation order the compensation of being first to pick in even-numbered rounds.

The first player picked was Cesc Fàbregas, the Arsenal midfield player, which, his new owner admitted, was a perverse choice for a Tottenham Hotspur season ticket-holder. More predictable was Mick Hume, our Manchester United-supporting columnist, taking Wayne Rooney with his first pick – and following up with three more Reds in the next three rounds. The offline system was ideal for him. “In principle I feel that fantasy football is unethical,” he said. “As a United supporter, I don’t want any Arsenal, Chelsea or Liverpool players scoring for my team.”

The surprise pick of the first round was Mikel Arteta, the Everton midfield player, but since Tony Cascarino has played plenty of proper football for Aston Villa, Chelsea and Ireland, we assume he knows what he is doing. And Arteta, as Tony pointed out, can score goals as well as create them, plays for an improving Everton team and strikes a good free kick.

In the early rounds, there is no shortage of good players – so anyone who missed out on Nemanja Vidic at pick 19 could still find decent centre backs such as Ricardo Carvalho or Jamie Carragher several rounds later. But as the talent began to thin out in the middle rounds, there were muttered curses. You will find that these are the most pleasurable sounds on such occasions, apart, perhaps, from “the pizza has arrived”. Snaffling a player someone else wanted not only denies them a key performer but also proves that you are doing something right.

Of course, there is no reason why you should do things our way. As mentioned above, many fantasy baseball leagues use an auction system, in which every manager is given a fund of fantasy money with which to bid for players. Given Premier League prices these days, £100 million should do it.

Make sure someone is keeping track of how much each manager is spending, nominate an auctioneer – or rotate the role – and decide on a minimum increment (say, £100,000).

The first manager nominates a player – for example, “Fernando Torres, £1 million” – and things proceed from there. Getting the players you want does not depend on your place in the order, but on your determination to outbid the competition.

A warning – do not get carried away with your first few bids. Make sure you have enough left to buy a balanced squad. Blowing £99 million on Torres and Cristiano Ronaldo may win you the goals category, but those £100,000 Hull City defenders may leave a few holes in your defence.

Whichever method you choose, you can expect a fun-filled few hours. Replica shirts are optional, but banter is inevitable. And whatever else you do, don’t forget to order the pizza.

Winners and losers in game of pick and mix

Richard Duce

Best pick Michael Ballack, a class act who rose in my estimation at the end of last season and at Euro 2008.

Worst pick Matthew Etherington. It showed up the dearth of left-sided midfield players as Joe Cole, Nani, Damien Duff and even Morten Gamst Pedersen were snapped up earlier.

One that got away Plan A – move in ASAP on a prolific goalscoring striker or midfield player – disappeared as soon as I began batting at No 8. Fernando Torres, Wayne Rooney, Steven Gerrard and Cesc Fàbregas were gone in 60 seconds. I had hoped to make Carlos Tévez second pick rather than first.

Bill Edgar

Best pick Patrice Evra. The undisputed first choice in the league’s best defence, rarely injured and liable to set up goals from the byline.

Worst pick Kolo Touré.

What should have been a sound choice changed a few hours after I picked him when he was diagnosed with malaria, which means he is likely to miss the start of the season.

One that got away I was confident of getting Tim Cahill because he was so far down the ranking list. He missed half of last season through injury but was brilliant in the half when he played.

Mick Hume

Best pick Wayne Rooney. As a confirmed football bigot I only really wanted Manchester United players and Rooney is the most important of the lot, Cristiano Ronaldo or no.

Worst pick I refused to select Liverpool, Chelsea or Arsenal players so ended up with two from Manchester City and a full back called Hreidarsson I’ve never heard of. Oh, and John O'Shea.

One that got away Dimitar Berbatov. Assuming that Fergie gets his man, he has a touch of the Cantonas about him. Probably not quite 42 goals a season, though . . .

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