Slideshow: the sculptures | Hoax sparks diplomatic spat

David Cerny’s controversial artwork full of crude national stereotypes was officially launched at the heart of the EU today in front of a crowd of puzzled bureaucrats and with a string of apologies from the artist and the Czech politician who commissioned him.

Entropa, a garish depiction of the 27 member states created to mark the Czech Republic’s presidency of the EU, revealed its full glory when it was switched on. The eyes lit up on the vampire representing Romania, Greece glowed red with bushfires and Italian soccer players began to masturbate with their footballs.

Aleksandr Vondra, the Czech deputy prime minister, launched the eight-tonne sculpture with a lengthy defence of freedom of expression but admitted that the image of Bulgaria as a toilet (now illuminated with red and blue lights) might still be removed because Sofia was continuing its protests at the highest diplomatic level.

Mr Vondra apologised twice during his speech to Bulgaria and any other EU nations offended by their portrayals. He further apologised to those misled by Cerny, who pretended that it was the work of 27 different artists from the different member states, whereas it transpired this week that it was made by him and his friends.

Unfortunately for Mr Vondra, just as he was explaining about the “unpleasant shock” he felt at the deception, the entire Italian football team reached a collective climax signalled by a crowd roar emanating from the huge structure hanging behind him.

“Entropa is just art – nothing more, nothing less,” said Mr Vondra, hopefully. Above his head, the Czech Republic in Entropa had turned into an electronic news ticker for quotes from the country’s eurosceptic president, Vaclav Klaus, and was displaying “The Lisbon Treaty is moving in the wrong direction.”

Mr Vondra then began to make excuses. “This piece of art has never been meant as the Czech presidency vision of the EU or member states. It is not how the Czech government view the EU. Entropa is a provocation of a kind and I understand that some feel offended and I would like to apologise to them. I would like to apologise to all those who might unintentionally have been misled.”

The Czech ambassador made the next speech but was so softly spoken that she was almost entirely drowned out by ejaculating Italians.

Mr Cerny, dressed all in black and looking sheepish, apologised at least three times and said that he would send back all the public money he had received to his government. As he stepped up to the microphone, a French journalist booed, perhaps angered at the "Strike!" banner adorning his country.

Asked if he felt like a winner given all the publicity and controversy, he said: “I do not feel like a winner. We seriously expected that this would be taken as a joke, as a nice piece of art installation, as nothing else.”

Mr Cerny added: “We are really sorry that we insulted individual nations, it was never intended to be insulting anybody. I hope if we are making fun, we are making fun of ourselves as well, so it is not insulting, it is insulting ourselves.”

His associate Tomas Pospiszel conceded that they might accept Bulgaria’s removal. “Yes, it is possible, if Bulgaria feels offended, we would accept those feelings and remove that part. I think that would be fair to them.”

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