Jane Owen
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Here are eight survival tools for this year's Chelsea Flower Show.
1. Tube map of London
2. A ticket to Marshall’s Design Forum (they are free on the day – get there early)
3. Sensible shoes
4. Sun cream and foldaway waterproof
5. Water and a packed lunch
6. Site map
7. Camera, pencil and notebook
8. Antihistamine, Vaseline, eye drops and handkerchief
Once, at Chelsea’s champagne gala night, I saw a pin-striped gentleman step backwards into a lily pond. He emerged, soaked, on what was a hot and sunny evening. It reminded me that all Chelsea visitors have to be prepared for just about every eventuality.
Also, a couple of years ago, when the show’s central theme was drought-tolerant gardening, the rain never stopped. And then there are the years when heatwaves have threatened to wipe out the delicate blooms of iris, roses, delphiniums, peony and all the other flowers that make Chelsea what it is.
Pollen from all these flowers is a serious problem for many. On top of that, the magnificent stand of plane trees at the back of the gardens causes ‘Chelsea cough’ which annihilates many of us trying to broadcast - eyes stream, a dry tickly cough grips every sentence and bouts of sneezing complete the hat-trick. Antihistamine, eye drops and a coating of Vaseline inside the nose all help.
Feet are another bodily area that need special care. By the time you’ve got to the showground and walked round some of the 600 odd exhibits, your feet will be in bits unless you have ultra-comfortable shoes.
Talking of feet, they are the only way to get to the show - well, feet and the Tube. Don’t bother to take a taxi because, unless it comes with police outriders, it will become part of the logjam that surrounds Chelsea from now until Saturday. The Tube is the best way to arrive and the station in question, Sloane Square, is usually decked out in flowers, which makes a cheery start to the day.
Cheer continues at the Marshalls Design Forum that I am chairing, along with James Alexander-Sinclair in the Great Pavilion. It will give you a chance to have a sit down while you are informed and entertained by some of the world’s most eminent designers and plantsmen and women.
If you’re thinking of putting your feet up at one of the on-site cafes or restaurants, take a fat cheque book. Food and drink at the show is mind-boggling expensive and not always delicious.
Also, take a camera, notebook and pencil (pencil rather than biro so that it will work in the rain) to record all the inspiring plants, designs and designers that catch your imagination.
Despite the Royal Horticultural Society’s best efforts, the show still gets very crowded. Here are two strategies for coping. Come very early or very late to avoid the worst. Or, if that’s not possible, keep a site map to hand if the crowds suddenly surge around an exhibit – as they do – and be prepared to duck out of the Great Pavilion, for instance, and find something else to see.
The one area where crowds should no longer be a problem is in the lavatories. These are now abundant. However, people sometimes queue without realising that there are masses of vacant loos at the back of the tent.
Finally, you may glance out of your window or look on your weather website on the day that you go to Chelsea and decide that summery clothes will do. As I’ve already implied, the only predictable thing about Chelsea weather is that it is unpredictable – so be prepared for anything.

Take a pictorial tour of the main show gardens at Chelsea 2008

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