Last week you tried to emulate the Beatles’ Abbey Road pose on the zebra crossing. Who were you trying to be, John, Paul, George or Dumbo?

Michael Joseph, Manchester

Please do name and shame Mrs X, the lady who harassed you at the Wolseley. We’re all dying to know. She sounds like a right scrubber.

David Jensen, Ibiza

Week after week Michael strikes brazen poses of raw machismo, then complains about the unwelcome attentions of Winner groupies and stalkers. He should contact George Clooney for guidance. Ian Lineker, Worcestershire As we say up north, “If you can’t take it, don’t give it.” Mrs X was only giving you back the medicine you hand out to restaurants and anyone you don’t like.

Stuart Matthews, Nottinghamshire

You’ve had a full-time stalker for years? In these credit-crunch times can’t you downgrade to a part-time stalker?

Martin Langley, Surrey

Having lunched with the convicted John Myatt and OJ Simpson, who will Winner be dining with next? Gordon Brown? John M Keynes, Surrey Now Michael’s friend OJ Simpson has been incarcerated, I look forward to the master’s opinion of the grub served in Nevada’s state prisons.

Tony Pike, Surrey

Send letters to Winner’s Dinners, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1ST or e-mail michael.winner@sunday-times.co.uk

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