So you want to be one of the IT crowd. Fair enough. But do you know which IT crowd you should join? Take our ridiculous quiz to find out.

1. Your office is decorated with:

a. Posters you’ll tear down as soon as anyone else has heard of the bands they feature

b. Discarded pizza boxes

c. An Angelina Jolie doll made of antistatic wrist straps

d. Inspirational landscape photography

2. Verbal communication is:

a. Under threat from texting but unlikely to die out entirely thanks to the advent of vlogs

b. Nowhere near as accurate as binary code

c. Harder than a diagram

d. The reason I get paid more than most techies

3. A big investment bank hires you. What are you there to do?

a. Find a way for the bank to relate to young customers

b. Whatever the project manager asks me to do

c. Install new secure servers

d. Analyse its current information architecture and suggest more efficient approaches

4. If you could choose your own work hours, they’d be:

a. 11am until 7pm, except on the nights when I’m DJing

b. It kind of depends on how many turns I have left on Kingdom of Loathing

c. Weekends, when there are no people around to trip over my cables

d. As long as it takes to get the job done. Your company’s interests are the most important thing in the world to me... do I get the contract?

5. Bill Gates is:

a. a potential investor, if I could just get him to look at my business plan

b. I use Linux

c. Don’t waste my time with stupid questions. Everyone knows who Bill Gates is

d. A source of inspiration

6. A moment of political confusion results in a nuclear war that sends the world back into a preindustrial age that doesn’t have electricity, let alone computers. You survived the destruction thanks to your neighbour’s fallout shelter. What’s your job in this slightly singed new world?

a. You set up a network of branded town cryers who move between settlements passing on messages and sharing gossip all for a mere three potatoes a month

b. Clan shaman. Reading chicken entrails is no harder than coding in Assembler

c. You’re still an engineer; it’s just that now you use your practical skills to build houses and low-tech machinery rather than IEE 802.3 compliant networks

d. Postarmageddon business regeneration consultant

The results:

Mostly a: New media mogul. You already understand what makes things cool; now you just have to work out how to make people pay for them.

Mostly b: Code monkey. You are happiest with your fingers on a keyboard and your brain puzzling its way through buggy patches. Don’t forget that one day you’ll have to decide whether to apply this problem-solving ability to people management issues as well.

Mostly c: Hardware type. Right now you think of yourself as a lifelong technical expert, but because you have an engineering degree there’s every chance that you’ll be chief executive in 20 years.

Mostly d: Consultant. Or possibly sales. I’ve never wanted to get close enough to find out. You can talk like a technician but your heart belongs to commerce; you’re never happier than when you’re discussing information architecture with a potential new client. Remember: just because you can baffle people with technical talk doesn’t mean that you should.

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