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<title>Comment - Columnists - Jeremy Clarkson</title>
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<language>en-uk</language>
<pubDate>Tue, 30 Oct 2007 15:37:29 GMT</pubDate>
<copyright>Copyright 2007 Times Newspapers Ltd.</copyright>
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Fri, 16 May 2008 14:34:02 BST
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Feed the customers, or they&#8217;ll slash all the seats]]></title>
<pubDate>
Sun, 11 May 2008 00:00:00 BST
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<![CDATA[Last weekend, as I spiralled round an endless succession of identical ring 
roads in the Midlands, looking for somewhere to have lunch, I realised with 
a heavy heart that the global food shortage had reached Britain. Quite 
simply, there was nowhere serving anything that a human being might 
reasonably want to put into its mouth.]]>	
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[Pricking science&#8217;s silly sausages]]></title>
<pubDate>
Sun, 04 May 2008 00:00:00 BST
</pubDate>
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<![CDATA[There are food riots in Haiti and Bangladesh. In Kenya hunger has driven half 
the population to set fire to the other half. In Bolivia they are fighting 
over vegetables. And even in Italy people took to the streets to complain 
about the price of pasta.]]>	
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</item>
<item>
<title><![CDATA[I&#8217;d rather hire a dog than a prostitute]]></title>
<pubDate>
Sun, 27 Apr 2008 00:00:00 BST
</pubDate>
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<![CDATA[Ever since the invention of the saloon bar know&#45;all, we&#8217;ve been told that when 
it comes to things that float, fly or fornicate, it&#8217;s better to rent than 
buy.]]>	
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<item>
<title><![CDATA[Potato heads are talking rot on food]]></title>
<pubDate>
Sun, 20 Apr 2008 00:00:00 BST
</pubDate>
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<![CDATA[A sinister government agency called Wrap (We Rape and Pillage) has spent vast 
lumps of our money to determine that, in Britain alone, we throw away 5.1m 
potatoes every day. Apparently this is so morally reprehensible that we 
should all commit suicide.]]>	
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