Snakes and Ladders - Times Online - WBLG

Beware of traps laid to lure the MySpace generation

It's the Gen 2.0 equivalent of mouthing off to your boss down the pub. The superficial anonymity of the internet is a well-known stimulant for excessive sharing. But we're not always loose-tongued when it comes to the web - we're far more likely to spill the beans on our misdemeanours when asked about them casually online, rather than in a formal way, BusinessWeek reports.

Give away your bonus

Do the big bonuses paid to City folk make them happy? Not necessarily so.

Research published in the Harvard Business Review this month shows that it is what workers spend their money on that determines happiness.

"We found that people get no meaningful boost in happiness by spending money on things like new clothes, TVs and iPods. They do tend to feel better, however, if they spend even a small portion of a windfall on others," say the authors.

Could porn replace pensions?

I don't know about you lot, but as things stand I don't have a monkey's of surviving on a pension when I retire. To be honest, given the way that things look at the moment I am not entirely sure that I'll even get a pension when I retire.

As far as I can tell, my only option is to keep working until my fingers are too arthritic to type and then to win the lottery before I run out of baked beans.

Or I could follow the example of 73-year-old Shigeo Tokuda and begin a second career as a porn star. Time reports that the Japanese market for elder porn has doubled in the past ten years; in that same time "mature women" has gone from meaning "in her late 20s" to "possibly even older than your gran". Tokuda himself, a former salaryman, plans to carry on until he's at least 80.

He doesn't, however, intend to tell his wife what he really does when he heads off to the office these days.

Picture credit: these little monkeys, who are almost certainly pensionless as well, are from floridapfe at flickr.

Planet recession

A crystal ball would be good right now, you could predict what's going to happen should a recession hit. You could safely take a punt on stocks that plummet in the knowledge that they will rebound, sell your house high and rent before buying again when the price is right and other such dodgy dealings.

Brandsmiths, a brand management company, appear to have that crystal ball and have sent out a press release telling us all who will survive and thrive, and who will wither and die, during the big R.

Survivors are tipped to include Ikea, Starbucks and Tescos and witherers could include Haagen Daas, KFC and Woolworths. Except that being a creative group of people they have gone for a more out of this world approach. 

Get paid to volunteer at a charity

Fancy working for a charity without giving up your income? If you can persuade your boss to give you a 12-month sabbatical - or if you don't mind quitting your job - you might be interested in the Vodafone Group Foundation's latest initiative.

It's promising to pay four people up to £25,000 each (plus as much as £20,000 in expenses) to spend a year working at their favourite UK-registered voluntary organisation either here or overseas.

You'll need to get your application in to the World of Difference programme by the end of the month; see www.vodafonefoundation.org for details and all the fine print.

A health and sanity check

Sitting at your desk from dawn to dusk, breakfast until dinner is a good way to develop a spare tyre around your middle, a deathly pallor and to fall out with your colleagues in IT, BusinessWeek (July 21) reports.

As well as a deluge of calls about printers developing a personality of their own and ignoring commands, tech support are constantly bothered by food-related mishaps. During a typical one-month period, 56 per cent of tech trouble-shooters are called in to clear up at least one messy eater's mess, a US survey has found. Believe it or not but workers regularly complain about keyboards sabotaged by crumbs and crisps inserted into the CD drive.

But my personal favourite is a story from Jon Aumann, a field-agent manager for Geek Squad, a tech-support firm, who once unscrewed a computer tower to find a sandwich with a bite taken out of it. So it's official: work makes people weird. Now, where did I put my lunch?

Scary close-up courtesy of www.cleaningexpert.co.uk

Life's a beach (but only if you book time off)

I'm not sure which is more shocking: the news that one exec in four would rather sweat it out at his or her desk than go on holiday; or, that those who do make a getaway are likely to find room in their bags for Coldplay, Madonna and the Beach Boys. (I know that it's rather fashionable to slate Coldplay these days but that doesn't mean it's wrong.) 

But back to the rather tired business of too many workers failing to claim their full holiday entitlement. A rather unimaginative 34 per cent of those hard at it blame an excessive workload for their failure to rest up and tan according to a survey by the Chartered Management Institute. While you lot are clearly beyond help, I suggest that you try delegation instead. Then in addition to racking up air miles, you can boast about mastering a new skill at your next leadership appraisal.

Lee calls in sick on day one

Oh dear, not auspicious: Lee McQueen has called in sick on his first day as Big Al's new apprentice.

This definitely counts as getting off on the wrong foot, for all that I am sure that his illness is genuine. (No one who had been caught lying on his CV could take the risk of creating a questionable sick note, although in most cases anyone whose stomach upset creates a long weekend is automatically looked at a little suspiciously, even if they spend the next fortnight in hospital.)

I understand the argument that sick people who come in to the office, brag about their levels of commitment and promptly infect the rest of the workforce with some disgusting disease are not actually benefiting the world.

No one dies wishing he'd spent more time at the office

The sensible, grown-up approach to life suggests that we'll be better off in the future if we spend our present working hard, saving money and choosing salad instead of chips for lunch.

But guess what? We won't be happier, says an article in this month's Harvard Business Review.

Working outside the office

Visit London is encouraging freelancers, creative types and anyone else who'll be in London with a laptop this Thursday or Friday to skip the office in favour of a seat in St James's Park. Sounds nice - nothing but birds, squirrels and a million photo-happy tourists to distract you from your spreadsheet.

On the other hand, every time I've tried to work outside I sneeze like a crazy woman and spend so much time worrying about my laptop getting nicked that I barely notice that the screen is impossible to read in sunlight. Better to sit inside until your work is done then pop down to the park to relax.

A buffet with Warren?

There are just two days and ten hours to go if you and your friends would like to have lunch with the Oracle of Omaha. Warren Buffett, the chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and one of the richest men in the world, is auctioning lunch with himself on eBay in aid of charity.

At the time of writing the bid stands at $77,100 (£39,206.17) for the bidder and seven friends to enjoy a bite and banter with Mr Buffett at the Smith & Wollensky Steakhouse in New York. But as anyone who has any experience of eBay will be able to tell you the serious bidding will happen on Saturday in the last few moments of the auction.

This is the sixth year Mr Buffett has auctioned lunch with himself for the Glide Foundation charity. Last year the successful bidder and friends forked out $650,100 for steak and shares advice with the 77-year-old billionaire.

It will be interesting to know whether in these cash-strapped times this year's auction will raise a similar amount. In 2006 the lunch raised $620,100 but in 2005 it was a mere $315,100 (which wouldn't even buy three shares in Berkshire Hathaway at today's prices).

But if you are interested in meeting Mr Big then take note: the auction closes at 7pm on Friday (PDT) which is 3am on Saturday here in the UK (European readers should bear in mind that 'free shipping' probably doesn't mean Mr Buffett will fly you over in his private jet...probably).

Update 3.30 pm June 27 - After 44 bids the offer stands at $255,500

Update 8.30 am June 28 - There were 71 bids in by the close of the auction. The winner, greenteabug, offered $2,110,100. Gracious.

Want to work in Australia? Learn to use a deep-fat fryer

Australia's pernickety points-based visa system can make it hard for foreign professionals to get work in the country. On the other hand, Oz is suffering from such a severe skills shortage that McDonald's and KFC have been forced to recruit overseas using the skilled migrant visa programme, reports news.com.au. So, drop out of university and start flipping burgers if you fancy moving Down Under.

The Concise 33 Strategies of War

Books which promise bored businessmen that a firm handshake and a couple of military metaphors guarantee corporate success are popular because they suggest that there's more to office life than a balanced budget. Look here, they tell suited warriors, what you do is important; in a different age you'd be marshalling the cavalry for a final charge. Is that really so different to preparing a marketing strategy for a new type of laxative?

But what makes The Concise 33 Strategies of War different is that it promises to guide us not only at work but also in our relationships, in politics and, curiously, on the street. Oh, and the press release is endorsed by Busta Rhymes, the musician: "I felt like I had some Deep Sea scroll or some sh*t".

Name 5 non-famous CEOs

Much is written about the curse of celebrity and how we all want our 15 minutes. Chief executives and chairman are no exception to the rule. Some corporate leaders are as famous as their brands: think Arcadia's Philip Green, Apple's Steve Jobs, Virgin's Richard Branson or BA's Willie Walsh. Not all are famous for the right reasons - but all publicity is good publicity eh? What's more, a modicum of fame can ensure a rich post-retirement career as a management guru or writer - just consider GE's former head honcho Jack Welch.

But although the media and the public love 'em - Branson seems to come top of every league table, whether its bosses, entrepreneurs, businessmen or men with beards - leadership writers are keen to remind us that leadership ought to be authentic and our leaders need to keep it real. The heroic leader is as dated as an Arctic Roll. The thinking seems to be that it's difficult to keep your eye on the bottom line if you're busy worrying whether your bum will look big on Newsnight.

So in the spirit of the great British parlour game of name five famous Belgians, try to name five CEOs who have done a sterling job but aren't universally famous. To get you in the mood, here's a German CEO game in the style of the more famous beer logo game.  If we can get enough we could build our own game. . . although maybe that will make them famous and then we'll be back to square one.

(Picture of Belgian luc Vandevelde, former CEO of Marks & Spencer, borrowed from www.famousbelgians.net )

It's not called offshoring any more

Want to outsource or offshore part of your business but don't want to take things too far? It's time to consider "nearshoring", which is just like offshoring but without the confusing time zone differences.

Or, to put it less jargonistically, hiring someone in Eastern Europe rather than India.

Looking after the family silver

If you have a bit of dosh you probably have a savings account, if you have a lot you may have a private banker, but if you have squillions then the only way to go is a private bank - as in one just for you and a few of your seriously rich relatives. 

A study by the Wharton Global Family Alliance, a collaboration of American and European business school researchers, offers a rare insight into the world of the uber wealthy. The researchers write in IESE's Insight newsletter that "Extreme wealth carries with it obligations and privileges. The super rich must often continue to operate their business while managing their mounting wealth and planning for future generations." You could almost feel sorry for them.

Are you normal?

They may give the appearance of being hard at work, but just what is the person at the desk next to you looking at on their computer? Last night's TV reviews? Social networking sites? eBay bids for antique chairs from the latter Georgian period?

One thing that you can be sure to predict is that....you can't predict what they're doing. Because in cyberspace, no one is normal.

There's no such thing as a clean slate once you've started work

I am not a fan of Lucinda (one of the unsuccessful Apprentice candidates). While I thought she had some good ideas, she was also enormously irritating and had an uncanny ability to make others want to gang up on her.

But I was intrigued at the way in which her motivation for coming on the show was analysed, both by people commenting on this blog and those within the show. There seemed to be a suggestion that, because she earned plenty of money in her previous job, she somehow wasn't serious about wanting to change course and work for Sir Alan.

Does this mean that no one is taken seriously if they try to chuck in their first, well-paying career and try a different path?

The etiquette of failure

Lee celebrated his Apprentice win by giving Claire, the loser (runner up is a meaningless term here, as in most places in the business world), a big hug. While this is perfectly acceptable in televisual terms, it's not likely to go down as well in a normal workplace.

Imagine that Claire and Lee weren't on-screen competitors but colleagues who were going for the same promotion in some everyday business. Lee gets it, Claire doesn't, meaning that he is now her boss. If you're the person in Claire's shoes you're left with a number of options:

Bizarre jobs

Every now and again, there's a job advert that catches the eye. It's not becasue of the unbelieveably high salary. Nor is it because it's the dream job that will take you out of the cruddy hell that is your current place of employment. No, it's because the job is so improbable - that you know that it is the only one of its kind. I came across such a job this week - and here it is.

Head of Movement at the Royal Shakespeare Company in Stratford. Duties include; increasing the physical eloquence of the performing company and support their wellbeing. I love this job.